I think i was in a lecture....

hey you. no not you. yeah you. how are you? you look great, whatever your doing, keep doing it!

so yes in my first ( and only i know shut it) post i promised you a review of the impossible. i have written the review but seeing as its cinema showings are now dwindling i thought i would save the review for its DVD release, that fair?

so for this post i thought i would go for some silliness and share with you my lecture notes from today. now i know what you are thinking why the hell do we want to see them? because i am insane. you don't need to know what the lecture was about and to be quite honest i couldn't tell you. see, getting the most out of that nine grand me! anyway here are my notes but first i would like to apologise if any of this causes offence not meant to. with that out of the way, hopefully enjoy:

critical contexts:

think about things.
be abstract

do you like monkeys?
yes. yes i do.
splendid.

coronation street is not literature.
no shit.
its also shit.
Eastenders is where its at.
i would love to write for that show. just make the cockneys suffer.

Leo Tolstoy wrote the bill.
shut up Jess.

Barrington Pheloung is the composer for Lewis.
Best. Name. Ever.
Poshest. Penis. Nickname. Ever.

is the canon bias towards white middle class males?
OMG a relevant note!

hamlet is awesome.

this is super turtle.

q: what would Hemingway do?
a: Fuck it, Kill it, Drink it, write it or just ignore it and think profoundly whilst growing a beard.

is there an authentic self?
don't ask me I'm a pancake.
shut it you, that was almost a relevant note!
......sorry. cover me in syrup and gobble me up?
no.........OK, maybe later.......wear the dress.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. no

giggle.
really?
hey! it was relevant, the lecturer giggled!
good point well made. wanna go for a cupcake after this?
no, thanks though, but I'm going clay German shooting.
can i come?
you could but it might look a bit petty, a Jew doing it. i mean you guys rose above them and if you were to do that it might spoil it a bit.
whatever, screw you. actually, could i borrow money for some food?
you're asking me? you aren't a very good Jew are you?
Fuck you man, you know what my grandparents went through!
firstly move on. secondly your grandparents weren't in it. thirdly it was in no way relevant so actually your the one being offencive by bringing it up needlessly.
do you realise how anti-Semitic you sound?
ffs anyway who gives a fuck I'm a duck!



yeah.......

thanks for reading guys after this my next post will probably be from the madhouse! byeeeee


just for the record i love the Jewish peoples and in no way believe in the stereotype and Howard is my favourite in the big bang. well fifth favourite. i laugh with him for the record. i'll stop now.

HELLLLLLLOOOOO THERE

Hi, I'm currently sitting at my typewriter and bleeding. If you got that reference we should be friends :) but chances are you might want to walk away from this blog right now. Or wheel away if you're on one of those cool computer chairs, or a wheelchair, more fun, make the best of it you know? right i get the feeling i should stop before i lose myself completely and offend someone.

so yes the above reference was to Hemingway one the greatest, most intelligent and most profound writers ever to have graced the earth. He also sported a rather fetching beard which is always a google plus (no more puns I promise). And yes i do consider myself a Hemingway wannabe. my dream is to become a writer who writes novels that have a chance of altering the way somebody thinks or perceives the world even if just for a short while after closing my book. if i can gain a drop of the oceans of literary respect that Hemingway possess i will be happy. But as well as sounding like a pompous arse as you may have guessed by now i have a little bit of a silly side. meaning i think I'm funny, although i admit I'm probably the only one of that opinion.

so whilst my writing is something i take very seriously and try make as meaningful as possible this blog is where i go to let off steam. to write about whatever is interesting me this week, which will often take the form of reviews, which i love to do, or pieces that are a lot like moments in a class or a lecture where the teacher goes completely off topic and just wastes everybody's time. so as i said before if you are a massive Hemingway fan and are looking for a blog full of profound truths about the world then this isn't for you. but if your bored at work, if its one in the morning and your essay is due at nine am and you are just looking for a bit of escapism them hopefully you will find something you like. although that said i may also use this as an outlet to try out things to do with my writing so occasionally there may actually be something slightly intelligent to read.

though i feel i should warn you i am new to blogging (yes I'm well aware that blogging has been and gone as a craze so i like to think of it as arriving fashionably late to the party) so whilst, hopefully, this may be a treat for brain, it will not be a treat for the senses.

so thanks for reading this post and hopefully you may have read something in it that you liked, if you did please read it again :) if not tell someone you hate its really good so they have to suffer it! the next post will be a film review of the new release The Impossible it would be great if you came back to read that but until then find something else to procrastinate with!

cheers, Chad